If you are one of these couples, I mean no offense.
But nothing irks me like couples that call each other "Mommy" and/or "Daddy" instead of by first names.
I stood behind one such couple at the checkout line tonight. They came touting their three screaming overtired kids and a cartload of crap pulled from the dollar bins at the front of the store.
Now, there's a certain threshold for calling your significant other "Mommy" or "Daddy." For example, it's impossible to resist when you have your first newborn baby. It's a big deal, and you're entitled. It's also hard not to do it when talking to your kid and the kid references the other parent. If the Munchkin said, "I want Daddy to read to me" then yes, I'd repeat her and say, "Daddy, will you read to her?"
But that's because I'm tired and lazy, and I'd rather just use her word than waste brain power to say a whole new one.
But this couple? It was a thing.
"Ooh! Daddy!" the mom said. "Do we have double-A batteries?"
"Yeah we have lot of those."
"Oh yeah, Mama. We do."
"What about a lint roller, Daddy? Do we have a lint roller?"
"Great find with those pants, Mommy. The boys love those pants....Mommy."
I can't imagine how they talk to each other in bed. That was two minutes longer than last time, Daddy! Yaaaay Daddy! *claps*
Meanwhile they couldn't seem to look each other in the eye and both had these dazed where-the-eff-am-I smiles on their faces. I'm guessing Mommy's secretly boffing the soccer coach and Daddy vents his frustration with a women's shoe fetish.
Meanwhile, it's ten o'clock at night. Their kids are screaming and clawing at each other and trying to bash each other with the shopping cart. All the clerks and straggling customers are staring at them. The weird thing was, the parents almost seemed to be enjoying the attention. Like, "Ahh, here we are! Aren't we craaaaaazy?! Can you believe it?!"
Then again, I recognize that I am in no position to be judging the family dynamics of total strangers. I'm sure they're perfectly happy. Whatever.
They racked up $325 in merchandise. All I wanted was a freaking box of diapers.
Can you blame me for b*tching?